Star Trek – The Next Generation:  1×12 – The Big Goodbye

Memory Alpha

It was another sunny morning in jolly England.  Cool air blew in through an open window, bringing with it the morning chorus as I furrowed my brow and looked down at the coffee stains on my desk.  I knew I would have to clean it later in the day, but first… I couldn’t put off another episode of season one TNG any longer, so I reached for the controller and pushed play.

There was Captain Jean-Luc Picard puckering his bald head, while Deanna Troi sat across from him by the desk with her dark chocolate covered eyes.  It seemed some boys calling themselves The Jarada wanted to talk, but first he had to learn their lingo.  The going was tough though, so Troi said he should take a break.  Not like Star Fleet pays him by the hour, so he says yes and makes his way to this place called ‘the holodeck’ and loads up a program set in the mid twentieth century: Dixon Hill.

Now, this captain had earned a lot of respect from his crew, but I wondered if Frenchie really had the cahoonas to be a hardboiled detective.  Did he have what it took to solve a case, get the dame, all while chain smoking twenty cigarettes an hour and throwing back gin like a fish gulping water?

Intrigued, I lay myself on the couch, all near six feet of me stretched out as the credits rolled.  Blue on black: like the cold emptiness I felt in my soul after watching Justice.

It’s not long before things start down there on the holodeck.  Those Jarada fellas send out a probe which does some crazy space stuff to the ship, and some doors open and close like a ghost were trying to get someone’s attention.  Meanwhile Doctor Crusher joins the captain and others on the holodeck.  She was wearing a pink coat and gloves, likely chosen to accentuate her fiery red hair and lips.  In any case, she gets real into it, and I start to wonder if ‘Crusher’ is really more like a creed to her than a name.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, it turned out the crazy space stuff the Jarada did caused the holodeck to malfunction and what was supposed to be happy fun time ends with some guy bleeding out on the floor having being really shot.  But near death’s not enough to deter this crew, and so this was the first but not last time they’d find themselves in trouble on the holodeck.

Just saying – if my Playstation kept trying to kill me, I’d probably take it back to the store and get a refund.

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