Spontaneous Combustion Solved

Last week I thought I was going to die, because I ate a whole bag of Haribo.  If you don’t know what Haribo is, they’re sweets that are basically just lumps of sugar and colouring mixed into a gelatinous form.  Anyway, I ate a bag of them, and suffice to say felt quite sick afterwards.

And as I was lying there, I swear I could feel all that sugary energy burning away inside of me.  I honestly thought that I was going to explode, and started thinking about the stories about spontaneous human combustion I used to read about in magazines back in the nineties.  Figured I might have solved the mystery – it’s people who ate too many sugary sweets too quickly – but now I was going to combust before I could tell anyone.  Presumably that’s what happened to everyone else who solved it as well, the only clue left being a melted plastic wrapper at their side…

Turned out I was fine though.  Or maybe I was just lucky, this time… because I definitely will eat them again.  They’re so good.

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