My Mutant Power

It’s been commented that I must be a mutant because of my extraordinary ability to eat lots of junk and never gain any weight from it.  Which would be fine, except it makes for a really shitty X-Man.

Professor X: You shall not prevail here, Magneto!  I have brought together some of my finest students to stop you… Wolverine, Storm, and The Black Hole!

Magneto:  The Black Hole?  You mean, you have the power to create and control singularities?

Me:  Um… no.  Just, everything I eat vanishes…

Professor X:  He usually does admin.  I confess we were a little short staffed today.