My Mutant Power
It’s been commented that I must be a mutant because of my extraordinary ability to eat lots of junk and never gain any weight from it. Which would be fine, except it makes for a really shitty X-Man.
Professor X: You shall not prevail here, Magneto! I have brought together some of my finest students to stop you… Wolverine, Storm, and The Black Hole!
Magneto: The Black Hole? You mean, you have the power to create and control singularities?
Me: Um… no. Just, everything I eat vanishes…
Professor X: He usually does admin. I confess we were a little short staffed today.