A man showed me his penis today. I’m not a doctor and I hadn’t asked him to. He just did, completely of his volition.
I say a man, I think they were teenagers, but please don’t judeg and stop reading there. See, what happened was I was walking home through the park. There was a gang of them who seemed to just be hanging out in the playground and I just walked by not thinking much of it, when I heard them yelling behind me. I assumed the worst, believing I was going to have to either leg it or fight them, so turned around and it turned out neither… what happened was, one of them was stood there with his pants down waving his penis at me. It was enormous, like down to his knee and not even erect, and he was swinging around like a tassel. I don’t know whether there was something about me that made him imagine I’d be interested in seeing that, or whether he was just showing it off to every stranger who passed.
So, naturally I told him to stop being a dick. Well, actually I didn’t say anything at all. I just sort of looked bemused, shrugged and walked on. I kind of wish they had just wanted to mug me, because then its clear what the options you have are. This was just weird.